


What They Wanted

by wafflesandkruge



Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Graduation, Pre-Established Relationship, aka nikolai's graduating and zoya isn't, jealous!nikolai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 01:51:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19843084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflesandkruge/pseuds/wafflesandkruge
Summary: Nikolai's a seventh year at Hogwarts who's on the cusp of graduating and becoming a pro Quidditch player. He's terrified about what this will do to his relationship with Zoya.





	What They Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> This connects to my broader Hogwarts AU featured in my SoC and KoS compilations. Basically, Nikolai is Slytherin's star Chaser and team captain, Zoya is Gryffindor's seeker and a sixth year. Inej is a fifth year and Slytherin's seeker.

To an outside observer, Nikolai Lantsov seemed to be living the life. He was Head Boy, the Quidditch team he captained was well on their way to win the House Cup for the second year in a row, and Puddlemere United had already offered him a contract. And a rather lucrative one at that. But as he leaned against the stone wall outside of the Charms classroom and tried to focus on studying his orderly N.E.W.T.s notes, he couldn’t help but feel like everything was moving too fast and sooner or later, his life would hit some obstacle and shatter into a million pieces. **  
**

A sudden symphony of chattering students and the screeches of chairs had Nikolai hastily shoving his notes back into his bag. He straightened his tie and head boy pin, then ran a hand through his hair. The heavy wooden door creaked open and sixth year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs started streaming out. Nikolai spotted Zoya’s glossy black curls and a smile instantly appeared on his face. Then faded as he saw her laughing and walking arm in arm with Harshaw, one of her housemates. It wasn’t that Nikolai didn’t like Harshaw- he was a great chaser, and always friendly- but there was something about seeing him and Zoya so happy together that left a sinking feeling in his gut.

He caught Zoya’s eye and a grin spread across her face. He watched her wave goodbye to Harshaw with a promise to study charms together that night in the common room. 

“Shouldn’t you be in Potions right now” she asked with a teasing smile. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to Nikolai’s for a chaste kiss. They started making their way to the Great Hall together for lunch. 

“Got out early,” he replied curtly. Nikolai urged his mind to come up with one of his usually witty or charming quips, but he couldn’t think of anything. An awkward silence fell between them.

Frowning, Zoya tugged on his arm to get him to stop moving. She examined his face carefully and Nikolai felt like she could see straight into his brain and was puzzling over what to do with the tangled web of thoughts trapped inside. 

“You look tired,” she finally said. “Do you want me to go buy some invigoration draughts from Wylan?”

“It’s nothing. Just stayed up a little too late studying.” Nikolai forced a smile. Why was he acting so strangely? Zoya didn’t look happy, but they resumed walking. 

At the doors of the Great Hall, they ran into Inej who was walking with Kaz. Nikolai frowned at how close the two were. They nodded their greetings and an idea popped into Nikolai’s head. 

“Inej, we should get going to Quidditch practice soon.” 

Her brow wrinkled. “Practice?”

He widened his eyes empathetically.

“Ah…” she said slowly as a spark of realization entered her eyes. “Right. I’ll see you later Kaz.”

The younger boy shot Nikolai a knowing look and walked into the hall without another word. 

Nikolai turned to Zoya, an excuse already on his lips. He’d say he scheduled a small session with Inej and it had slipped his mind until now. But before he could open his mouth, Zoya had already pulled away from him, her mouth set in a flat line. 

“Have fun at _practice_ ,” she said with an edge to her words. Then she was gone, swallowed up by another crowd of students. Nikolai took a step in her direction, then thought better of it. Maybe it was for the best. He was graduating soon anyways, it wouldn’t be fair to-

“Practice?” Inej asked. There was nothing but concern in her dark eyes. 

“Just-” Nikolai sighed. Inej was as good of a confidant as anyone else. “Let’s head down to the pitch.”

* * *

Inej was a fantastic listener, Nikolai had to admit. They sat in the middle Quidditch goal facing each other, backs against opposite sides of the circle. If Inej was bothered by how high up they were, she didn’t show it. Nikolai, on the other hand, kept his legs clamped tightly around the cool metal. Their brooms hovered nearby.

In the last fifteen minutes as they passed a Quaffle back and forth, he’d already told her about the recent developments in his life, including the Puddlemere United offer. She’d just nodded along seemingly unsurprised by the news which he had been keeping secret, but he didn’t miss the smirk that ghosted across her face. He had no doubt she’d won some kind of bet with their teammates. 

He took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to word the next part in his tale of woes. The familiar leather of the Quaffle was a welcome sensation as he turned it this way and that. “And now…I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do regarding Zoya after I graduate. It’s going to be tough, you know? She’s still going to be at Hogwarts while I’m off doing Merlin knows what. It wouldn’t be fair of me to expect her to wait for me when she has so many other options. I mean, literally half of her year is in love with her and who am I to-”

“You’re being an idiot,” Inej told him primly. He nearly dropped the Quaffle. 

“I- what?” Nikolai stared at her, baffled. 

“You. Are. An. Idiot,” she repeated. “You think Zoya would cheat on you if you weren’t here?”

“Of course not!”

“Then why are you so worried about leaving?”

He kept his eyes trained on the Quaffle, not wanting to meet Inej’s eyes. “I’m saying it wouldn’t be fair of me to ask her to wait for me. She deserves better than some absent boyfriend who probably won’t be around a lot.”

It felt good to finally say that to someone. He was fully prepared to part ways with Zoya, even if it meant he’d be cutting out a piece of his heart and leaving it with her. She deserved more than he could ever give her.

“And what would Zoya think about this? She loves you too, you know.”

Nikolai hesitated. “She’d move on.”

Inej threw up her hands in frustration. “Sometimes, you’re so dense it physically hurts me. Zoya’s probably worried about the same things you are right now. She thinks that you’re going to leave her to become some sort of Quidditch superstar and that she won’t be good enough for you anymore and that’s why you’ve been so distant lately. But _clearly_ neither of you want to break up.”

Was that really what Zoya was thinking? That he thought she wasn’t good enough? Even the notion itself was ridiculous. Zoya Nazyalensky was the most wonderful, perfect, and capable person he knew. He didn’t even deserve her. He dropped the Quaffle and watched its long drop to the ground. 

“What should I do?”

“Stop hoping that the problem will fix itself. Take the first step.”

“That’s what I’m scared of,” he muttered.

Inej gave him a pointed look. “I think you should be more scared of Zoya if you two don’t make up.”

He winced. “Good point. I will get started on that first step right away.”

* * *

“You better have woken me up for a good reason, Genya.” Zoya’s voice echoed from the bottom of the stairwell to Nikolai up in the Astronomy tower. He wrung his hands and checked one last time to make sure everything was in place. The pillows were in their proper positions. Fluffy blankets were stacked in the corner. The charm he’d cast on the ice cream to keep it from melting seemed to be holding. But no matter how perfect everything seemed, he couldn’t stop the flip-flopping of his stomach. It was worse than the time he’d almost thrown up before his first Quidditch match, or even when his brother had hidden his Hogwarts letter from him and had spent days calling him a squib. 

“Why in god’s name do you want me to climb- oh. Nikolai.” Zoya had arrived, looking positively radiant despite her plain pajamas and mussed hair. Nikolai gave an awkward wave, then instantly regretted it and clamped his hand to his side. Genya’s footsteps retreated until it was just the two of them.

They hadn’t really talked over the last week because of the “practice” incident. They had stuck to their routine- meals together, walking to dueling club, Quidditch scrimmages- but it had been nearly silent. Nikolai hadn’t known how to approach her and he suspected Zoya’s pride had been too bruised to extend the olive branch first. So here they were. He cleared his throat and spread his arms wide, gesturing at his setup.

“We need to talk. Sit and have some ice cream?”

She gave a little huff, but thankfully, sat down on a pillow. Nikolai took the pillow across from her, then flicked his wand. A small bowl of vanilla ice cream drifted over to Zoya and a bowl of mango for him. They ate in silence for a moment. The whistle of wind and clink of silverware echoed in the tower. 

Nikolai had three spoonfuls of his mango sherbert before he decided to bite the bullet. He cleared his throat. “We’ve been a bit distant lately.”

She rolled her eyes and stabbed her spoon into her ice cream. “No shit, Lantsov.”

That stung a little, but he soldiered forward. “It’s my fault. I’ve been so worried about what would happen to us after I graduate and I didn’t consider that I was pulling away. I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry, Zoya.”

Her eyes narrowed and Nikolai had to fight the reflex to lean away. “Nikolai Lantsov, are you breaking up with me?”

Merlin’s beard, he was going to die tonight. He held out his hands in placation. “No! Of course not, absolutely not, how could you even-”

“Then why are you so worried?” She leaned forward, ice cream forgotten, and suddenly Nikolai couldn’t look away from her stormy blue eyes. “We can always meet in Hogsmeade or during the summers. We can be back together all the time after I graduate anyways. Nothing has to change if we don’t want it to. Even if you’re off being the next David Beckham or something.”

He frowned. “I don’t understand that reference.”

“Football. Muggle game. Exhilarating. Anyways, what I’m saying is you have no reason to be worried. We’re still as good as we’ve always been.”

Nikolai released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Thank you. You have no idea-”

Zoya continued on, eyes flashing in amusement. “And stop looking at Harshaw funny. He’s kind of scared of you at this point, with you always glaring.”

Nikolai’s shoulders tensed even as his cheeks flushed from being caught. “I am not-”

“Oh hush.” She leaned back onto the stack of blankets with a light smile and a warm sensation flooded Nikolai’s body as he realized something. They were going to be okay. An elated grin stretched across his face. He knew he probably looked like some over-eager child, but he was beyond the point of caring. 

“I also got you a present.” He made a small motion with his wand and a neatly wrapped parcel appeared on the floor between them. Zoya pounced on it.

“I would say ‘you shouldn’t have,’ but you’ve been an absolute ass the last- Oh. Oh.” There was a moment of silence and Nikolai braced himself for her reaction. “HOLY FUCK YOU GOT SIGNED BY PUDDLEMERE UNITED?!”

Nikolai winced. “Say it a little louder, won’t you? I don’t think Filch heard you.”

Zoya clamped her hands over her mouth but her eyes were wide as saucers. Nikolai reached over and unfolded the jersey for her. It was a deep navy blue, almost as dark as Zoya’s eyes, with two golden broomsticks crossed on the front. On the back, his name was embroidered with golden thread as well as his new number, 00. A season pass with Zoya’s name printed on it was pinned to the hem. 

“Technically, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone until pre-season officially starts, but what can I say,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “I can’t imagine not telling you would have gone over so well.”

She floundered a little more, but soon regained some ability to speak. “Jesus Christ, Nikolai, this is amazing! How you- Are-”

She gave up and resorted to throwing herself at Nikolai. The air flew out of his lungs as he fell backwards, Zoya on top of him with her arms wrapped around his neck. His arms instinctively went around her.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered into his ear. “Really. I can’t wait to see what you’ll do.”

He turned his head and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.” 

He didn’t just mean for the compliment. He was including her patience, her joy, all the time she’d invested into their relationship. All the times she’d made him laugh when he’d wanted to cry, all the outings to muggle London, every Quidditch scrimmage. His heart was so full of love for the Zoya Nazyalensky in his arms that he knew there was only one thing he could do.

“I love you.”

She stilled for a bit. It was the first time either of them had said it to each other. For the briefest of seconds, Nikolai was worried she’d pull away. Then she propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at him. _She has the face of a queen_ , Nikolai thought.

“I know. I…I love you, too.”

Zoya’s face was blushing furiously as she admitted that, and she quickly hid in the crook of his neck. He laughed and started stroking her hair. This. This was what he wanted for the rest of his life. 


End file.
